No, drunk sperm still make babies.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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