You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
