return my video game
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
