we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
