I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
