Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
