But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
