I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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