I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
