I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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