I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
