my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
My vagina just clenched in fear
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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