Pregnant stripper...not hot.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
