I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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