i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
