i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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