oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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