As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Bring me that man meat
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
