last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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