i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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