how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize