I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Panties = found
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
