I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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