it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I showed him my bush... on skype.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Randomize