Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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