Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I don't deserve a penis
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
whose parrot is this?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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