I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
