I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
