i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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