D3 body, D1 cock
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just googled if crying burns calories
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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