now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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