38 yer olds are good kisserssss
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
