i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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