why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
