i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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