another moral hangover. fuck.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
