Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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