So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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