I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
