Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Randomize
