I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
