Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
