So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
