mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I got inside last night via doggy door
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Randomize
