Pants 0. Shit 1.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize