big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
