he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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