THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
