his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
