I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Boobs speak an international language.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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