I think scott just propositioned me for sex
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Randomize
