Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
