I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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