imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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