Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
