he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
