If that was your dad, he is hot
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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