I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
My pussy is not your playground.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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