i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
