She said her name was "party"
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
