is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
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