i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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